The end of my first semester is approaching, and I had nothing planned for my first college semestral break. Then, I learned that there will be a CSIW 2010 which was on the first week of my break. I decided to go, since I’ve always wanted to join PSYSC after high school.

It was my second time to be a facilitator of PSYSC in an event (the first was in the Tri-Regional Summit 2010) and it was like a breath of fresh air. After my term as an RC, I’ll be a facilitator again, which is a good thing. But being a facilitator is also a challenge. I need to go out of my comfort zone and be as dynamic as possible around people, which I am the opposite.

I vividly remember the first day I met my aurins, the kids. Inside the auditorium, hundreds of students, teachers and parents are seated. As the speakers started to announce the balay gathering, I was panicking already because I am thinking of ways to be friendly and to keep the kids busy. I instinctively gave out a smile and looked at each of the kids’ faces as I started to introduce myself. By this time, the whole auditorium was noisy out of all the excitement. This day was designated to serve as a form of getting close to the kids and themselves so that the following days will be smooth-sailing. I looked at the kuyas and ates and I saw that they are all smiling and seem to enjoy what they’re doing. That gave me hope to do better and eventually, I found myself opening up to them, telling a joke or two, and used the group activity toys in the ever-trusty faci kit.

As a facilitator, we slept late at night (because of the nightly general meetings so that the event stays on track) and wake up early (to prepare for the day’s event). It was very stressful and the cold climate didn’t help. I started to miss my family, our house, and our dogs. However, I told myself that I shouldn’t be thinking of such things; I decided to go to CSIW and be a faci; I shouldn’t be complaining and whining.

The first and second days were both though. I tried to get closer to each kid and get to know them while doing lots of fun activities together. Some of my kids were quite active and sociable, some were quiet while the others were equally active but needs to be perked up first. I actually got angry and irritated quickly but during those times, I learned to forget those negative traits because I know what will happen if ever I burst out to them. I always thought of myself in their position. Doing those things really helped and because of that, all of us all became friends as I observed during the seminars and the games. It was all worth it.

The day of the field trip is my most favorite. I know that I am most paranoid of the fact that we need to take care and guide these 30 kids during the trip and to always check if they’re complete but all of that was replaced by the thoughtfulness and honesty they showed me.

Among the different places we went to, I have gone to Picnic Grove the most and know its landmarks by heart. I promised the kids that I’ll tour them around so that they’ll see the places they might have not been into. During the tour, all of them mostly run and run and I had to follow each one and remind to follow me or else they’ll get lost. We went to the farther parts of the place: the hanging bridge, the forest, and the best spot to see Taal Volcano. I planned to visit the three until I forgot one particular thing about Picnic Grove; it was that on the way after the forest, visitors had to climb a very steep path lined with cottages and pine trees and I had kids with me. I never considered that they might have asthma and might ventilate out of tiredness. Fortunately, we were able to see the best spot, even though everyone was complaining that we should just rest for a minute and look at the picturesque view. When we reached the top there were shops that sold souvenirs and refreshments. All of us were really tired and exhausted and it was great because when I counted them, they were all complete! That really brightened my day and we proceeded to the bus and we had a little group picture.

We went to the Gardenia Plant also and went back to the venue. On the way home, the kids became energetic again because they had time to rest and we just all goofed around which made our bus very noisy but we all enjoyed it. We laughed and told stories until everyone got tired again and slept.

The fourth and final day came, and I never thought that I’ll be both happy and sad at the same time. It was the awarding ceremony and most of my aurins were there and we all watched the program. As the program went on, the kids’ teachers were calling them as they will go home. Each one said goodbye to me with sad faces but I know that they all enjoyed the whole event. Beforehand, we all exchanged contact details to keep in touch during the activities and also after the CSIW. They still text up to today. As the program ended, I looked back at my balay and saw only two were there. One of these kids is PR or Phillip Richard who made a mark as being the noisiest, the clown of the group and the most pasaway. I admit that he irritated me at first but I realized that during all of the activities, he never left my side no matter how naughty he was, like in the last day. I thought he already left but he said that he was waiting for me. That really made me smile. So I took a picture of them which is still with me. That moment was one the things I’ll always cherish during CSIW.

Although being a facilitator for four days was hard, I learned a lot from the experience which I think can only be called as “magic”. First, I can’t believe that I can be myself in front of these kids I just met and do the crazy stuff I only do with friends and family. That really gave me a better self-confidence; no more shyness and hesitation. Second, I realized that there are far more important things to learn beyond academics and sports; to be sociable and active which will really help you in the outside world. It has always been a problem of mine to be easily shy and be antisocial whenever I’m with a lot of people whom I don’t know but CSIW made me think twice about it.

After my CSIW experience, my decision to be with PSYSC became firmer. It’s just that I decided to adjust to college life first before joining formally because the call of volunteerism never left me. I know still have a lot of things to improve on to be a better facilitator but I will always thank this experience because I grew up and became more mature through the help of the aurins of Balay Luntian.